Hello, I'm Hilary and I am depressed. That's taken me a long time to admit to myself. It's not surprising really. I come from a family that has depression all over the place. I didn't want to be part of that crowd. Not that I thought I was better than that. I was in survival … Continue reading Coming out of the dark
Blog
Living Native in da U.P. 1
This coming weekend is Powwow weekend. I'm excited because this will be my first powwow as a rez resident. I live here now and don't have to worry about traveling home after my vacation. It's also my first powwow as a Tribal Veteran and beginning Elder at 59 years old. I was thinking about my … Continue reading Living Native in da U.P. 1
What is a “Mom”?
Maternal feelings. Wanting to have kids and be a mom. Baby fever. Raising children. I didn't have any of those kinds of feelings in my teens or twenties, not even my thirties. I didn't like playing with dolls and pretending to be a mom. I wanted to go outside and climb a tree or ride … Continue reading What is a “Mom”?
Family
At 58 years old, I have finally started gathering those around me that I consider to be family. I have a family of my own of course; mom and my brother. He's married and so I have a sister-in-law that I adore and the most beautiful niece ever. I am blessed to have a wife … Continue reading Family
Musical Memory #3
Music Memory #3- Carmina Burana Carmina Burana is a grand opus of poetry written by the Goliards; a band of poet-musicians who were scholars and clerical students. They celebrated the more carnal and earthy nature of life; words of beer drinking, enjoying the beauty of a woman and conversing about the unpredictable nature of life. … Continue reading Musical Memory #3
Musical Memories #2
Memory #2: Quiet No More- A Celebration of Stonewall Summer of 2019, the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots and the start of the GLBTQ movement for equality. The Denver Women's Chorus and the Denver Gay Men's chorus came together with many other GLBTQ choruses from all over the United States to perform this commissioned … Continue reading Musical Memories #2
Memories of music
I have no end of gratitude to my father for instilling in me a great love of music. He loved all kinds of genres; from classical to funk, from folk to blues. We would sit in the family room in the dark late at night and listen to whatever struck our fancy. My brother Adam … Continue reading Memories of music
Is happiness a thing?
I woke up at 330 this morning. Thinking. Thinking about the apartment I moved out of a few months ago. I had lived there for 17 years. That's a long time! I was wondering in my half asleep mind why I wasn't mourning the move more than I had. I did cry once the place … Continue reading Is happiness a thing?
Hoarding
"Hello, my name is Hilary and I am a recovering hoarder." I've watched the show "hoarders", and have friends who are also. But I never seriously considered myself to be one until March 2018, when I had to move out of the 2 bedroom apartment I had lived in for 17 years. Now, realistically speaking, … Continue reading Hoarding
Transitions of Life
I try to walk a fairly Spiritual path. I endeavor to be aware of my surroundings, be compassionate with people, spend time in Nature, etc. So when life changes come along, I like to take time and do some reflection on the past and how I got from point A to point B. Spirit can … Continue reading Transitions of Life
WillowBear Musings 