You told me you were different.
Even got mad when I told about my previous guy.
Told me you wanted to punish him for how he treated me.
You even had a plan for this act.
I felt gratified for the protection. I felt loved.
Then I found out the truth- you were and are a coward. And a thief.
You couldn’t tell me that you didn’t want any more kids- after I had months of infertility treatments-
I only found out because you wouldn’t make love to me.
You told me you were moving back to be near your kids several states away.
With or without me. I had a month to adjust.
You never told me that you had been thinking about this.
You took my choice.
I moved with you. For us. Because I loved you and we were married.
We were supposed to be together. Work it out.
Husband and wife.
I made a home for us. We were in your place, you grew up here. I did my best.
But you didn’t make me part of your life.
I never got to know your family. Or your friends.
We went fishing alone. We went everywhere alone.
You didn’t give me a chance.
You wanted me to fail.
You didn’t want me to come with you.
You stole my choice. We never talked about anything that mattered.
You think you are a man.
But you are a coward.
And you are a thief.
**Written for an audition piece for Vox Feminista but also written because I realized that I never let the anger into my feelings for this man who had been my husband. I always found some excuse for his behavior and still thought of him as the best of my husbands but I don’t think that anymore. In many ways, he was the worst of the lot because he set high expectations and didn’t deliver on any of them.