NOTE: This was a mash-up of 2 poems that I brought together as a performance piece. I wrote the Ode, Judy Wolf wrote the Guise. We performed it once at an open mic night and got some great responses. It was so fun to do this onstage with her.
I don’t know what happened to Judy. I don’t know if she’s even alive at this time. I miss her and include our piece here in her honor and mine.
Ode to a Coward (Hilary) & The Guise of Love (Judy)
You told me you were different.
Even got mad when I told you about my previous guy.
Told me you wanted to punish him for how he treated me. You even had a plan for this act.
I felt gratified for the protection. I felt loved.
Many things fall under the guise of love yet you cum on our faces anyway, forget about the fleshlight or the rubber vagina; how about a replica of a woman’s lower back or her stomach- your favorite places to cum.
Then I found out the truth- you were and are a coward. And a thief.
You couldn’t tell me that you didn’t want any more kids- after I had months of infertility treatments and surgery. I only found out when you wouldn’t make love to me.
Coward.
Oh, the ladies of porn smile so reverently in their drug addled addictions, did you think they were smiling at your cock? So happy as they get jizz in the eye when I can’t even stand a little bit of mayonnaise in the corner of my mouth when I’m eating a sandwich.
You told me you were moving back home to be near your kids several states away.
With or without me. I had a month to decide.
You never told me you were thinking about this for months. You took my choice.
Thief.
Smile though your heart is aching. Those beautiful eyes don’t mean a goddamn thing and hey, no one likes to swallow- just ask that old sock by the side of your bed.
I moved with you. For us. Because I loved you and we were married. We were supposed to be together. Work it out.
Husband and wife.
I made a home for us. We were in your place, you grew up here. I did my best.
But you didn’t include me in your life. I never got to know your family. Or friends.
We went fishing alone.
We went everywhere alone.
You didn’t give me a chance.
Oh you guys of love don’t listen to us. Just cum in our faces anyway. It’s about the only reliable birth control we have left. Throw condoms or fill us with baby after baby and watch us die of depression.
You wanted me to fail.
You didn’t want me to come with you.
You stole my choice. We never talked about anything that mattered.
You think you are a man.
You are a coward. And a thief.
(read out together)
Nope, just keep it cumming you guys.
Under the guise…..of love.
